I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
