So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
