the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
