I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
