Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
