um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
