i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
