Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My cat gives me a boner
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Randomize
