So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize