Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
