these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
