Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
