It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
