nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
