school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize