She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
