yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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