I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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