I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
