I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
