I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
