Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
