We're facebook friends in real life
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
