i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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