Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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