I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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