shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
