finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
