just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
