Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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