I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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