I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
