the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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