Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
