It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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