good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize