I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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