it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
