i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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