ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
sex in a hospital.. check
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize