Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
