Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
