I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You've changed since you got that strap on
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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