Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
