I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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