mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
