"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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