Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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