My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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