he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize