I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it glows. i had to have it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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