i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
