what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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