Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
soo... how was my night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
