He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
