I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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