if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
