if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
