This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
